What metric are you using to gauge success? Jillian argues that the metrics we traditionally measure with are not accurate indicators of long-term success. Instead, she challenges us to consider new metrics – growth and relationships.
When we measure success with things we have little control over we can feel frustrated and stuck. Maybe we look outwardly successful but haven’t grown or developed any meaningful relationships.
For example, consider the person who wants to be healthier. If that is measured by pounds lost, that neglects the personal growth of learning proper nutrition or finding activities to promote fitness. Any fad diet can help you lose a few pounds, but it doesn’t help you grow in healthy disciplines.
Maybe you have a money-making business, but you’ve burnt down all of your relationships in the process. That doesn’t seem successful at all.
Growth and relationships are the metrics that will carry over into other endeavors. Fast track methods to short term success often do not. Everything we do is dynamic. We don’t live a dichotomous life. It all works together and affects the whole. We see this in marriage, parenting, friendship, and business. So Jillian challenges us to expend our energy on things that will carry forward.
In terms of relationships, focus on the depth and quality of relationships with people who are moving in the same direction.
Growth can encompass a wide variety of things. It can be a specific skill development, growth in empathy, or self-awareness. Wherever there is an opportunity, put yourself out there and see what you might learn.
“When you focus on growth and when you focus on relationships you’re making sure that you become the person that you need to be for the thing that does work out.”
It will mean failing by certain metrics to get to the place you want to be, but that doesn’t mean that you are not making progress toward the things that really matter.