Jillian answers your questions!
You may have noticed like one reader did that Jillian has the ability to talk about messy things with a calm and collected demeanor. How does she do that? By understanding dysregulation, we can develop the skills to prepare us for any conversation. Most of us have a tendency to become dysregulated up the spectrum (becoming fiery with anxiety or anger) or dysregulated down (becoming cold and closed off). These tendencies impact how we process information. Developing practices to help remain in a calm and neutral zone ensures that we are making the most of our relationships.
“If I really do want someone to hear me, to work through something that’s difficult and messy, I put extra effort into making sure we can stay regulated.”
The second question Jillian tackles focuses on how to transition into a new endeavor and the framework that Kerry Ann gave to us earlier in the season. Generally speaking, there are two ways you can get stuck when trying something new.
First, you have what she calls a “one off” specific question. These are questions that are fairly easily answerable with a little research. They are practical: What internet provider should I use? What is the average shipping cost for my product?
If your question doesn’t fall into that category, it is more likely a larger feeling of overwhelm that is hard to put into question form. For this situation you need a broader “container of learning”. This often means seeking out people with more experience to help guide you – a coach, course, mastermind group, or retreat.
“Get into the habit of asking yourself, ‘What do I need?’”
We all need someone to help us along. Accept that you need help and celebrate your need. This will move you towards progress!
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