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Building Financial Confidence with Tori Dunlap

Tori Dunlap, the founder of HerFirst100K, is on a mission to help women get the funds they deserve while slaying the patriarchy at the same time. She joins Jillian to talk about building financial confidence and getting comfortable with your money, no matter where it’s at.

More About Tori Dunlap:

Tori Dunlap is a nationally-recognized millennial money and career expert. Her work has been featured on Good Morning America, New York Magazine, Forbes, CNBC, and more. She works as an award-winning money speaker and coach with a laser focus on fighting for women’s financial rights. You can find out more about her by visiting HerFirst100K.

Topics Covered: 

  • Tori’s early start to understanding finances
  • Learn how to be uncomfortable in order to grow
  • Go on a money date (and what that looks like)
  • The shame women often feel around money and how to break that cycle

Resource: Tori’s Money Diary

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An Early Financial Education Set Tori Up To Help Others

Tori Dunlap started learning about money from a very young age with the help of her parents. She started her first business when she was nine, managing 15 vending machines. This experience taught her how to run a business and set the stage for her future in the financial sphere.

It really taught me the ins and outs of how to be an entrepreneur.

Tori goes on to explain that her parents didn’t just help her get started with a vending machine business. They also showed her how they managed money. Her dad negotiated the cable bill and her mom balanced the checkbook twice a month. Conversations about how much college would cost were common and frequent with Tori’s parents. Between Tori’s jobs, vending machine income, and parental support she was able to graduate college debt-free.

This kind of open communication in families is rare and Tori knows it.

I have this privilege with my financial education. With that privilege comes a responsibility to pass it on to others.

Build Your Money Confidence By Getting Uncomfortable

Tori has been able to transition into entrepreneurship and now works full-time as a speaker and money coach. She is comfortable and confident with money and works to make sure other women feel the same way. Her first tip is one you might not want to hear. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

You have to sit in that discomfort if it means it will make you a better person. That’s what true self-care is.

Take Yourself On A Money Date

No matter where you’re at with finances, you need to have a money date. Once a month for half an hour Tori takes her and her money on a date. If you’re in a serious relationship you should involve that person.

On this money date, you will look at the status of your money. You should:

  • Review your credit card statements
  • Look at your total debt
  • Check your progress with savings goals

Tori says to ask your money “How can I be working harder for you?”

Your money can ask you the same question. It’s a relationship. Spending time together will strengthen it.

If this sounds terrifying to you, make yourself a down comforter cocoon. Get yourself a glass bottle of wine. Just really sit down with your money and it will get so much easier over time.

A money date provides the perfect opportunity to check in on your goals. It’s how you find out if you’re progressing. Tori promises it will get better every time.

Shame And Money

If a money date sounds terrifying, it probably has a lot to do with shame. Jillian and Tori agree that shame specifically hits women when it comes to money management.

The shame we feel around money is very similar to the shame we feel around our relationship with food or our weight. We act like it doesn’t exist and we ostrich-effect it. We bury our heads in the sand and don’t acknowledge it.

This can be a damaging cycle especially when it comes to money. Tori uses bad eating as an example. If you eat garbage all week, by the end of the week the attitude is ‘what’s another pizza?’. The mindset here is that you’ve blown it already, so why stop now. The same thing can happen with debt. If you have $10,000 of debt, it’s easy to say ‘what’s another $2000?’.

Pulling yourself out of this cycle is hard because of the shame surrounding these choices. Tori suggests starting from today and moving forward. Get comfortable with money dates and work to break the cycle. If you need a framework for this, check out Tori’s Money Diary that provides structure to this process.

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